r It’s a brand new year! 2017 is here to rescue us from all the despair and misery that 2016 wrought. 2017 will be fantastic! 2017 will be full of sunshine, lollipops and rainbows! 2017 will be apple fritters, jelly donuts and homemade chocolate chip cookies!
It’s going to be a great year. And if not, it’s at least gotta be better than the horrible 2016. Here are a few reasons why:
1. There is no presidential election. No matter where you fall on the political spectrum, chances are you really despised one (or maybe both) of the top presidential candidates. It was a year-long process of negativity that dominated the news. There’ll be none of that in 2017.
2. There won’t be as many celebrity deaths. I don’t know this for a fact, but there can’t be, can there? There were so many famous people who passed away this year that it is hard to remember (or list) them all. From David Bowie, Prince and George Michael to Gene Wilder, Carrie Fisher and Debbie Reynolds. From Antonin Scalia, Nancy Reagan and Fidel Castro to Muhammad Ali, Arnold Palmer and LaVell Edwards. Even that one guy from that one show died in 2016. Chances are 2017 won’t be as bad.
3. There will be a lot of great movies in 2017. The slate of new-ish movies coming out this year includes sequels of “Star Wars,” “Fast and the Furious,” “Guardians of the Galaxy,” “Despicable Me” and “Pirates of the Caribbean.” Plus, there’ll be movies about television shows like “Baywatch,” “Smurfs,” “Power Rangers” and “Wonder Woman.” And, if that’s not awesome enough, about half of those movies will star Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson!
4. This might be the year your team wins the championship. Are you sad because your favorite sports team didn’t win the championship this year? Well, if 2016 and the Chicago Cubs have taught us anything, it’s that ANYONE might win it all this year, even the sad team that you root for.
5. It will be a better year if we MAKE it a better year. Of course, the best way to make 2017 a better year than 2016 is to all work hard to make it better ourselves. Be nice to everyone you meet. Help others whenever you have a chance. Don’t be offended by every seeming slight that comes your way. Choose to be happy instead of looking at the negative side of everything!
And if that doesn’t work, you can always just watch a movie starring Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. (I hear he’s pretty good.)
There’s new funny-ish stuff twice a week at www.slowjoe40.com.
