Quick, what do the movies “Back to the Future,” “Mean Girls,” and “The Karate Kid” all have in common? If your answer is that they were all box office hits, you’re not wrong. But beyond their popularity, these movies share another common feature: Each has a notoriously awful bully.
Marty McFly’s main nemesis was Biff Tannen, whom he couldn’t seem to escape no matter what year he traveled to. Similarly, Daniel LaRusso couldn’t shake his bully Johnny Lawrence until he earned the mean boy’s respect while facing off with him in a karate tournament. Cady Heron’s bully, Regina George, took a more passive-aggressive approach to her meanness. Nevertheless, she still caused plenty of disruption and torment in Heron’s life.
Although the cruel characters in these movies are sometimes represented in a humorous light, there’s nothing funny about real-life bullies. Now that school is out and summer’s finally here, it’s important to realize that bullying doesn’t take any time off.
Popular summer activities like sports, summer camps, and playground ventures can be fun ways to keep kids busy when school is out, but they also present new opportunities for bullies to pick on unsuspecting victims.
Parents can play a key role in identifying and preventing bullying in their children’s day-to-day summertime interactions. If your child is playing sports, going to summer camp, or engaging in any other organized event, make sure you know who’s in charge and how to contact them if your child gets picked on.
Ask about the group or organization’s bullying prevention policies, as well. If there are no such policies in place, consider choosing a different organization that’s a bit more proactive about the well-being of its participants. might You can also privately ask the event organizers to consider putting anti-bullying policies in place.
In addition to doing your due diligence when enrolling your children in summertime activities, it’s also important to educate your kids on how to deal with bullies. Let your kids know they’ll likely encounter mean people throughout their lifetime. Teach them how to handle themselves when faced with nasty behaviors and hostile words. Let them know that they should never take a bully’s unkind words to heart.
Being able to quickly recover after someone insults you is a key aspect of resilience. Reassure your children that unkind people often strike out at others because they don’t know how to handle their own pain and problems in a healthy way.
You might also want to role-play some common bullying scenarios with your children. Ask them what they should do if someone shoves them on the playground or threatens them in the locker room. If they aren’t sure, give them appropriate ways to respond, such as immediately leaving the dangerous situation and alerting a parent, coach, or other trusted adult.
It’s also a good idea to ask your kids what they should do if they see someone bullying another person. According to the Center for Prevention of Abuse, more than half of all bullying scenarios stop within 10 seconds of peer intervention. If more youth dared to stand up and speak out when their peers are mistreated, it would stop most bullies in their tracks.
Finally, make sure you demonstrate a positive example of resilience and kindness to your kids. Be careful how you choose to interact with others in person and online. Children are like sponges and will soak up what they see and hear you do. If you’re quick to verbally accost strangers on social media sites or confront someone who cuts you off on the freeway, you can’t be too surprised if your children mimic your example.
Despite your best efforts to prevent it, your kids may still encounter bullies this summer. It’s important to make a plan of action in advance so you know how to appropriately react if this happens. When adults rapidly and consistently respond to bullying behaviors, they let the offenders know such behaviors are unacceptable.
Your reaction should never involve violence or physical contact with the offending child. It’s not productive to respond to bullies with violence and mean words. Doing so brings you down to their level and could also get you into legal trouble. Instead, you should swiftly and calmly remove your child from the abusive situation and determine what to do next once you’ve cooled down.
When your child is out of immediate danger, gather information about the facts and details of the unpleasant encounter. Analyze the severity of the situation before determining what your next steps should be. In many cases, the appropriate level of intervention may be to simply remove your child from the situation and get on with life as usual. But in some scenarios, you may need to discuss what happened with the offending child’s parents or coach. In rare and severe circumstances, you may even need to involve the police.
Don’t let bullies ruin your summertime fun. It’s always best to prepare for the worst and hope for the best. By role-playing different scenarios and helping your children learn how to de-escalate tense situations, you give them invaluable tools that will help them respond appropriately to bullies not just this summer, but throughout their lifetimes.
