Every Other Driver Is an Idiot
Have you ever noticed that every other driver is an idiot? There are a lot of drivers out there on our roads, but none of them are as good at driving as I am. You would think there would be SOMEONE out there who can drive as good as I can, but I sure don’t […]
Why? Because We Have Kids
Why are there footprints on our wall? Because we have kids. Why do I have to pick up sidewalk chalk from the middle of our yard every time I mow the lawn? Because we have kids. Why do I spend approximately four hours and twenty-seven minutes each day looking for a missing shoe? Because we […]
Twas the Day After Christmas
‘Twas the day after Christmas, and all through the house, All the garbage was strewn on the floor and the couch; The stockings, once hung by the chimney with care, Were down on the ground, contents flung everywhere. The children were still nestled snug in their beds, Asleep, with their favorite new toy by their […]
Bedtime Is Like a Game of Whack-a-Mole
The other night I was getting our kids ready for bed when the game “Whack-a-Mole” came to my mind. (“Whack-a-Mole” is an arcade game featuring a waist-high cabinet with a number of holes in it. Each hole contains an animatronic mole, which pops up and down at random intervals. The objective of the game is […]
I Have a Theory (Or Two or Three)
We’ve all heard of Murphy’s Law. It states that “whatever can go wrong will go wrong.” I’ve never really believed it much–it seems too pessimistic to me. (Sometimes things actually go right!) But, there are some laws and theories that I do believe in, such as: The Fuel Price Paradox: “If you fill your vehicle […]
Nine Children Songs Impossible to avoid
When you become a parent, your mind is open to an unforeseen invasion of children’s songs. These are not songs you seek out. You don’t listen to them on purpose. You don’t buy these songs. You don’t hear them on the radio. But, they’re EVERYWHERE! They emanate from children’s toys and television programs. These songs […]
Getting All My Servings of Vegetables
I’m trying to eat healthier. I really am. (I’ll sometimes even go a whole day without a donut!) Apparently, one of the keys to eating healthy is having a balanced diet. Balanced how? Balanced between the different food groups. I remember learning about the food groups when I was a kid, but I don’t remember […]
3 Ways Kids React to the Vacuum
I vacuum at least twice a year, whether I need to or not. You might say that I’m an experienced vacuumer. (Spellcheck doesn’t think “vacuumer” is a word. Spellcheck is uncorrect.) I also am a father of four, so I know everything there is to know about kids. (Ha!) So, based on my expertise with […]
Sleep: The Final Frontier
Sleep: The Final Frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Parenthood. Its five-year [No] ten-year [Still no] lifelong [Yes!] mission: to explore the inside of your eyelids; to seek out sleep wherever you can find it; to boldly snore where no one has snored before!” Wait. Did you say “lifelong” mission? Really? Shouldn’t it […]
7 Ways Preschool Graduation Is Better Than High School Graduation
If you’ve ever been to a high school graduation, you know it can be a long, tedious, and boring production. That’s why I prefer going to preschool graduations. Here are seven ways a preschool graduation is better than a high school graduation: 1. Fewer than 50 graduates. It’s great that your kid is graduating, but […]
