The other day, the power went out for about eight hours. It was only eight hours. It wasn’t the end of the world. It shouldn’t have been a big deal. And yet, it kind of was.
Between the power outage and the whole COVID experience a few years ago, I feel fairly confident that my family can give you a few pointers on how to (poorly) prepare for an upcoming apocalypse.
Make sure you have your vehicles inside the garage. But, have absolutely no idea how to open the garage door with the power out.
Be ready to yell, “Don’t open the fridge!” over and over again. Because when the power is out for an undetermined amount of time, one of the keys to maintaining a low temperature in the refrigerator and freezer is making sure the door stays closed so that warm outside air stays out. And the more people you have in your house, the more often you’ll have to yell it—maybe even at yourself. (You don’t realize how strong the urge to open the fridge door just to look at what’s inside is until it’s something you have to avoid.)
Make sure your kids know where ALL of your flashlights are, so they can hoard them in their beds to read after bedtime. That way, when you actually NEED a flashlight, you won’t be able to find any. Also, if you have any replacement batteries, make sure the kids know where they are so that when you need them, all of those replacement batteries will be in all of those flashlights that no one can actually locate. (There’s a pretty good chance there’s a flashlight stuck between a kids’ mattress and their bed frame.) (But you won’t be able to find it in the dark.) (If only you had a flashlight to help you look for the flashlights!)
If there’s a crisis in the community, it’s great if the neighborhood works together to help each other out. It’s not as helpful if you don’t know who any of your neighbors are.
Make sure you have plenty of food storage…but then don’t bother to rotate it. 25 year-old cans of food are just as good as cans purchased yesterday, right? (Our kids found a bottle of ketchup in the food storage that had turned black. A wise-ish man said, “It’s better to have black ketchup than no ketchup at all.” To which a wiser woman said, “No. All things being equal, I’d rather avoid food poisoning.”)
If you’re ready for the major disasters, but have no idea how to handle any of the minor inconveniences, my job here is done. You are now properly poorly prepared.
