There are times when I wonder if my kids speak the same language as I do. I speak English. My kids speak English. And yet, I’ll often say something and they’ll stare at me as if I was speaking to them in Portuguese, Swahili, or Klingon.
Sometimes I’m not sure if it’s because they don’t understand the words that I’m saying, or if they are just interpreting them to mean something completely different than what I intended to say.
For example, when I say, “It’s time to set the table,” they’ll act as if they heard me say, “Please play another round of that video game.” And, unfortunately, this sort of thing happens all of the time.
If I say, “Have you done your chores today?” what they seem to hear is, “Have you done ANY of your chores at ANY time over the past three weeks?” (The answer to the question I asked is “no,” but the answer to the question they heard is “yes.”)
I’ll ask, “Is your room clean?” But, what they hear will be, “Is there a footpath from the door of your room to the other side of your room?”
When I say, “Are you ready for school?” what they hear is, “You’ve got plenty of time to do whatever it is you are doing. Don’t worry about anything.”
I’ll say, “Go get your pajamas on,” and they’ll hear, “You should probably go to bed in an hour or two.”
If I ask, “Did you brush your teeth this morning?” what they’ll hear is, “Have you put a toothbrush in your mouth at any point over the past six months, including the time the dental hygienist cleaned your teeth for you?”
When I say, “Is your bed made?” they seem to hear, “Are there currently some blankets on your bed?”
If I say, “Get your soccer shoes on. You’ve got a game in fifteen minutes,” they’ll act as if I said, “You can play for another fifteen minutes (in your bare feet.)”
When my wife says, “No, you can’t get on the computer right now,” what they’ll hear is, “Your Dad hasn’t said you can’t be on the computer.”
If I ask, “Did you put your clean clothes away?” they’ll react as if I said, “Are your clean clothes somewhere in the house?”
When I say, “Have you picked up all of your toys?” what they hear is, “Pick out a new toy to play with.”
So, yes, there is definitely a language barrier between my kids and I. All I can hope for is that when I say to them, “I love you,” at some point they’ll actually understand it as, “I love you.”
