Every time you go inside at the gas station you see them. They are rotating in their display case. They’ve been cooked (probably), or at the very least warmed. They are waiting to be sold and eaten. They are the gas station hot dogs.

Who eats these things?

They’re slimy. They’re greasy. And, worst of all (or is that wurst of all?) they’re out there in the open where anyone can touch them! Have you taken a good look at the customers inside a convenience store? Do you want these people to have free and open access to touch your food before you eat it?

Having said that, I don’t really think these openly displayed hot dogs get touched very often. I’ve never seen anyone touch one unless they were purchasing it. But, the fact that they’re out there in the open where anyone could touch them is enough to keep me away. 

They must sell these hot dogs to someone, or they wouldn’t have them in every gas station. Maybe people only buy them when there are no other customers in the store, too ashamed to let someone else see their purchase.

And while I won’t eat a gas station hot dog, I might eat a gas station burrito. The tortilla around the meat might make enough difference, depending on how hungry I am. And I definitely would be willing to eat a gas station sandwich that is wrapped. That wrapping keeps the unwashed masses from touching my food, so I’m fine.

But, I’m not going to be having any of that jerky-in-a-jar by the cash register, unless they are individually wrapped. And those weird eggs floating in a jar–what the heck are those things? I’m never going to find out!

However, I eat gas station donuts all the time. The donuts are behind a little see-through plastic door. Someone could touch all of the donuts just as easily as they could all of the hot dogs. And yet, I grab my tiny piece of wax paper, wrap it around the donut of my choice, and have exactly zero qualms about eating it. Why the difference? Am I putting that much faith in the use of the donut wax paper? Is it the fact that the donut isn’t as slimy as the hot dog? Is it because I need the sugar fix? I’m just not sure.

No, there won’t be any gas station hot dogs for me. I’ll get all my fast food through the drive-thru window, where I know the food preparation conditions are pristine, and all of the workers wash their hands at least twice a day–whether they need to or not.”