Betrayal trauma is hard to describe, causing complex emotional reactions that literally put the body into shock. Yet, spouses suffering from betrayal often bury their pain and try to just “start over.” While this approach might work for a time, the pain will resurface and demand attention. Thus, the effects of living with a partner’s compulsive use of pornography or other sexual behaviors must be addressed for the affected spouse to move forward without fear or bitterness.
However, sexual compulsion loves secrecy, which feeds shame. The two become a vicious cycle that leaves many spouses feeling isolated by an invisible gag-order. In reality, the shame experienced from staying quiet perpetuates the pain experienced by the spouse and even the person struggling.
Forgotten In The Battle with Sexual Addiction: The Journey of a Spouse, is a book that lights a way forward for healing in part by helping spouses see their stories as sacred and worthy of sharing in safe environments. Author Roxanna Johnson has experienced the journey. She blends emotional realism with deep spiritual wisdom and faith in Jesus Christ, assuring others that there is hope and happiness in their future.
The book’s pages share Johnson’s experience of connecting meaning, purpose, and processes to recovery. She writes with raw honesty, taking a deep dive into topics such as surrender, shame, boundaries, reframing thoughts, detaching, and even forgiveness. Johnson doesn’t shy away from the tough realities of this experience, including deceit, objectification, health issues, and feeling judged and isolated by family, friends and even clergy. Using empathy born of experience, she walks with readers through the non-linear journey to regain worth and identity.
Along with personal stories, Johnson has an entire section about the tools and resources that helped her find peace and hope along the way. Readers will finish the book understanding not only how to survive the pain but live again with peace and power.
Forgotten In The Battle with Sexual Addiction: The Journey of a Spouse is for spouses—but will be an asset for anyone living with a person struggling with addiction. The book also offers understanding to those who support spouses needing to heal: friends, clergy, or family members. Johnson writes from the premise that betrayed spouses need to heal regardless of what their addicted loved one chooses.
About the author:
Roxanna Johnson has called Utah County home for more than 30 years. She relates: “When I realized I needed help to walk the road of loving a sex addict, I didn’t trust anyone. As I attended 12-step meetings over the next 11 years, I saw levels of the same distrust in every new person who walked through the door. The process of learning how and who to trust was long and filled with potholes. But one principle became clear fairly quickly: those who were trustworthy understood pain. They might not have experienced the exact pain I was living with, but they had experienced pain nonetheless. These individuals honored their stories and expected others to do the same. They also honored my story—when I became ready to share it. My book is an effort to pass on their generosity and wisdom.
Forgotten In The Battle with Sexual Addiction: The Journey of a Spouse, is available in print on Amazon and as an ebook and in audio format. To purchase a copy or learn more about the book and its author, visit forgottenspouse.com.
