Hi! My name is Ben Wunderin and I am a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) here to answer your questions surrounding mental health. Ben isn’t my real name, but your questions are very much real.
There were no submissions this month with requests for advice or mental health, so with October being National Emotional Wellness Month, I thought I’d focus on some general things surrounding mental health.
One of the topics that often comes up when I work with clients is the idea that people wait on other’s validation to improve their mood or self worth. As human beings, we do need validation. We need to know that we are loved and appreciated in someone’s life, and one simple way to do that is to offer a hug.
In fact, there has been research done on the benefits of a hug, and it has been determined that an eight second hug creates many key benefits for the people involved.
According to science, a simple hug reduces the hormone cortisol which is responsible for the majority of stress in your body. When we reduce the cortisol levels, we are reducing our stress levels, and those in the mutually-consented embrace will feel a sense of calm. This will also strengthen the connection you have with the person that you are hugging, or is hugging you. Hugging can create closeness and trust with one another, especially if done on a regular basis. The hormone that is released here is the oxytocin which is responsible for the regulation of social bonding.
The second thing that happens during a mutually consented hug, is the release of the serotonin and dopamine hormones that are neurotransmitters that increase our sense of happiness. This helps improve our joy in our day and allows us to have a more positive outlook on our lives. This increases if we engage in these eight-second hugs more than once a day.
But not all people love physical touch and not all people have a person or persons in their lives who are able to provide them with a hug if desired. Many seeking validation will need to look inward, and my advice is to find the things in your life that you love about yourself.
Finding our flaws is far too easy, and often detrimental to our mental health. If we are looking to these things to create improvements, it can be of benefit. But finding reasons to love ourselves is harder and much more important.
There are people in my life that I love very much, and those people love me back. The most important person that loves me, however, is me.
Find a reason to love yourself and remind yourself everyday, through your form of self validation, that you are loved and appreciated. Find joy and happiness from within. If you do that, the external validation from others will mean more, and the lack of that external validation will not cause as much depression.
So, hug it out, Utah County! And find love within yourself that has always been there.
If you would like to submit a question about mental health, or ask for advice on something and get your response in the next issue of ServDaily, you can visit www.benwunderin.com.
As always, if you or someone you know is struggling with mental health, please seek professional help or call 988.
With much love to you and yours, Ben Wunderin
