One year ago, a semi-truck driver’s wife’s biggest worry and worst nightmare came true.
The day started off as any normal day would: I woke up, started work and anticipated the end of the work week. My husband was excited to take our then 4-year-old granddaughter ice fishing on the weekend.
He was on his way home from another state after dropping off a load, and I hadn’t heard from him in a while. I looked at his location and thought it was weird it hadn’t updated, but wondered if he was just in a bad service area. I also worried he had left his phone at the truck stop when he stopped.
I was on the phone with my boss and an out-of-state number came in. I didn’t think anything of it until the transcribed voicemail popped up. It was from a nurse at a hospital saying she had my husband there and he had asked her to call me.
Pure panic set in, butI figured that if he asked her to call me, that he was OK. After calling the hospital back, I learned that my husband had been involved in a head-on collision, and had to be revived. I also learned that he had already had one surgery.
When I finally spoke to my husband, he told me it was just a broken leg and something crushed his knee. I also learned that the person in the other vehicle didn’t make it. When I heard that news, so many things went through my mind. Was it his fault? How is he going to get through this if he caused this? How are WE going to get through this?
That thought didn’t stay in my mind too long because I knew how safe my husband was. He always told me that he would risk his own life before another’s. There’s no way he would have been careless and caused this.
As several of my children and I got ready to make the seven hour drive to the hospital to see my husband, I still hadn’t been able to get a hold of the highway patrol. I was desperately searching for answers, so I searched the internet and found news reports. Commenters accused my husband of being distracted and causing the accident. I kept seeing awful things about the “semi truck driver,” and people placing blame on him. This is not the stuff you want to see when you have no idea what happened.
About three hours into our drive, I finally got a call back from highway patrol and was told that they were in pursuit of the other driver and the driver stated they were going to run into a semi. There’s much I can’t speak about on the matter, but it was determined to be a suicide by semi.
I was shocked to find that this happens more often than you would think. The driver intentionally hit my husband at 100 miles per hour, and my husband was going 73 miles per hour. Think about that impact!
After seeing the pictures on the articles and social media, I instantly knew I was not going to walk into that hospital to see just a broken leg and minor injuries. When I got there, it was so much worse than I expected. I hardly recognized my husband. Everything was broken — including my husband’s spirits.
Many doctors and investigators told me that they don’t know how my husband survived.
When I met him at the hospital, I had to tell him what happened and reassure him over and over there was nothing he could have done to prevent this. Survivors’ guilt is real, and he experiences it every day.
After spending a week at the trauma hospital, and after several surgeries, he was transported to a specialty hospital for a month, and then transferred home. I spent six hours a day at the hospital with him, while also working myself. When he came home, I became his full-time caregiver.
At first, he had a wheelchair, and eventually moved to a walker. There were constant doctor appointments, more surgeries and non-stop chaos.
What people don’t realize when someone is a caregiver, is that they give so much care to the one they’re taking care of that they quit giving care to themself. That was OK in my mind because he is my husband and I know he would not even hesitate to do the same for me.
It has been over a year and he is still not back to work, but we are hopeful that he will be soon, because is ready. He is still healing physically and mentally, but we are so blessed that he made it through this and we didn’t lose him. When I look at the pictures from the accident, I am grateful he survived. Even though this was awful and traumatic, there were so many miracles that happened before, during and after this accident.
Over the past year, we have been the recipients of service. It has been a different place to be because we have been the ones wanting to serve. I spent years helping find lost dogs in the community, and was known as the “Lost dog lady.” I also loved serving the local food pantry.
I have loved serving my community, and stepping back from doing that was hard. But, the community really stepped up for me during my time of need.
We were helped financially and with meals. We had more offers to help than we could even accept. People prayed for us and complete strangers asked what they could do to help. Without their love and support I would have not made it through.
During our time of need, somebody anonymously dropped by a gift basket, and it inspired me to do the same. Now that we are in a place to help others, I want to get back to serving because it makes me feel whole.
Recently, I started my own group to create gift baskets to drop off to people in need. A group of us exchange themed baskets monthly with each other. We also donate items or money and we find someone we think needs some joy brought to them. In February, we made and secretly dropped off seven amazing baskets to women who were going through a tough time.
Service is something I have always been passionate about. Because even long before this tragic accident and long before I was considered the “Lost dog lady,” it was because of the kindness and service of others that I made it through some hard times. I hope with this new fun group of ladies, we can help make others happy.
Sometimes all you need is to know that someone is thinking about you and you’re not alone in this world and people do care.
I challenge everyone to do something kind for someone. Make someone else feel important. Because it will also make you feel good about you.
Submitted by Brandi Buys
