“My first “Funny-ish Files” column was published in July of 2015. (It was a story about how dandelions had taken over my lawn.)
I’ve been writing this column for almost eleven years. That’s at least 125 columns and well over 50,000 words. I’ve written about a wide variety of things, like “5 Things To Do While Your Kids Take Naps,” to the “7 People You Meet In the Drive-Thru Lane,” to “9 Things To Do Instead of Staring At Your Phone,” and more.
I’m always looking for things to write about. I haven’t run out of ideas yet, but sometimes I struggle to find a topic that I feel confident I can use to fill a column (and still be at least a little funny-ish.) As such, I decided to make a list of topics that might work for future columns, so I don’t run out of ideas.
Here are some subjects that I MIGHT (or might not) write about in the future:
• Why the two-party system guarantees we get the best possible presidential candidates.
• Everything I know about love and tenderness I learned from watching Nicholas Cage movies.
• 11 reasons why green beans are better than chocolate chip cookies.
• 13 things to do with your leftover bacon.
• Why corporate CEO’s earn every penny of that $18-million buyout payment they receive after they get fired.
• The 10 best seafood restaurants in Lincoln, Nebraska.
• 12 reasons why members of congress deserve free health care for life, but veterans don’t.
• ”Moist,” and seven other words we need to use more in regular conversation.
• Straight Outta the SQ: Santaquin and its influence on hip-hop music.
• The nine cleanest truck stop restrooms in the United States.
• Seven reasons why tofu is better than bacon.
• A Utah Jazz fan’s guide on how to celebrate a world championship.
• Comcastic! 12 reasons why Comcast has the absolute best customer service around.
• How to be a boss: getting the most out of your workers by yelling at them.
• Fashion advice: a dad explains current fashion trends and styles to his teenage daughter.
• Prestige and adulation: a day in the life of an acclaimed college football referee.
• Burritos, Chalupas, and Gorditas: explaining the wide variety of Taco Bell menu items.
• The seven best shows on HBO to watch together as a family.
• How to become rich and famous by writing a newspaper humor column.
Hey, if YOU have any good ideas for a humor column, be sure to send them my way. (Or write it yourself–I’ve heard it’s a good way to become rich and famous!)
