I Think I’m Getting Old

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Joseph Capell

How old?

I’m so old that if I wanted to watch television, I had to stand up, walk across the room, and pull on a knob to the right of the screen to turn the television on. If I wanted to change the station? I had to walk across the room and turn another knob to switch to a different station. If I wanted to turn the volume up or down? Yes, that’s right, I had to walk across the room and turn another knob.

(Knobs were a big deal back then.)

Why did I have to walk across the room? Why not just sit there in front of the television where all of those knobs were within reach? Because I was told by my parents that sitting too close to the television was bad for me. It would ruin my eyesight, or my hearing. And who knows what kind of radiation might be spewing out from my television? No, keeping your distance from the television was as important for your health as waiting an hour after eating before going swimming.

I’m so old that we only had one telephone in our house. No one ever lost or misplaced their telephone, because it was screwed into the wall. What if you wanted to use the phone, but someone else was on it? You had to wait. What if you wanted to call your friend, but their sister was on the phone talking to someone else? You got a busy signal (“beep-beep-beep”) and would have to try again, often multiple times.

When your phone rang, you had NO IDEA who was calling until you answered it and they spoke to you. What if it was someone you didn’t want to talk to? Tough luck; you wouldn’t know it was them until you were on the line with them.

I’m so old that I remember when you needed two keys for every car, one for the ignition, and a different key to unlock the doors. Heck, there might even be a third key for the trunk or the glove box. If you wanted to unlock the passenger door from the inside of the car, you had to reach all the way across the seat and pull up on the knob. And if you wanted to roll down a window, there was a handle (with a knob on it, of course) that you had to rotate several times until the window reached the height you wanted it at.

(I told you knobs were a big deal.)

Yes, I think I’m getting old. (Except I’m not sure how necessary that word “getting” is in that sentence.)

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