Some Things I Remember; Some Things I Don’t

Recently I was spending some quality time on Facebook. (I was probably procrastinating doing something important, because that’s what Facebook is best for.) As I was scrolling past all of the political posts I agree with, the political posts I don’t agree with, and the ads for things I don’t want or need, I came across a post from someone I actually know. (If you scroll long enough, it will eventually happen!)
This person I know asked a question: “What is the most useless ‘fact’ that you still have memorized?”
It’s a good question, because there are a lot of things taking up space in my brain that don’t really need to be there anymore. If only there was some way to remove the old information to make room for things that might actually be useful today.
I can tell you my childhood phone number, plus the phone numbers of my grandparents and my three best friends growing up; but I couldn’t tell you any of their current phone numbers, or the phone numbers of my very own children.
I can tell you the names of the members of the “Purple People Eaters,” the defensive linemen of the 1970s Minnesota Vikings (Alan Page, Carl Eller, Jim Marshall, and Doug Sutherland); but when I call the elementary school, I struggle to remember the names of my childrens’ teachers.
I can recite all of the lyrics from Billy Joel’s 1977 album “The Stranger,” (“That’s all I know about Brenda and Eddie. I can’t tell you more, ‘cause I told you already. And here we are waving Brenda and Eddie goodbye.”); but I have no idea what the password is for my online bank account.
I remember “4-4-3-2 Mulligan Stew,” which I was taught as a kid to learn the daily recommended servings from each of the four food groups. (4 servings of fruits and vegetables; 4 servings of bread and cereals; 3 servings of milk and dairy; and 2 servings of meat.); but I can’t remember to pack myself a lunch for work.
Thanks to “Schoolhouse Rock,” I can sing to you the preamble to the Constitution of the United States, count to 30 by threes, and tell you what a conjunction is; but I can’t remember when the last time was that I changed the furnace filter, or had the oil changed in the car.
But, even if there WAS a way to replace all of the useless “facts,” (like the fact that Cap’n Crunch’s eyes and eyebrows are on the outside of his hat) with things I really SHOULD know (like my wife’s birthday), I probably wouldn’t remember it. (Unless I come across it while scrolling on Facebook.)